The frantic pace of motherhood – the endless to-do lists, the constant juggling act, the unwavering need to be “on” – can leave even the most resilient moms feeling depleted and disconnected. I hadn’t traveled for pleasure alone in over two years since becoming a mom. Before that, it was something I did often; something that made me feel grounded, independent, me. Somewhere between routines, responsibilities, and pouring into everyone else, I realized I hadn’t poured into myself in a while. I refused to be a victim of “mom guilt,” so I decided to take a solo retreat and be in nature. I chose Mountain Shadows Resort in Scottsdale as my destination. No expectations, no pressure … just space and touching grass (well, really it was, desert sand). I didn’t go to “find myself.” I just wanted to feel like myself again. Turns out, it’s the little things that brought me back. The idea of a complete digital detox initially felt daunting, a little terrifying even. But the prospect of reclaiming a sliver of my own time, of simply being, outweighed the anxiety. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of not paying attention to what I am eating when I am busy. I either skip meals or eat what is in front of me, which is not always the healthiest. As someone who loves food and appreciates a fine-dining experience, I have not had time to treat myself to nice meals lately. There’s something different about eating when you’re actually present. No rushing, no multitasking; just nourishing my body with intention. So, I was intentional with what I ate on this trip. The open kitchen concept at Hearth ’61 was a great way to remind myself of the intention behind preparing meals and the care that goes into it, and made it even more satisfying to eat. The experience of eating alone without rushing made me realize how often I treat meals like an afterthought. Slowing down reminded
1. Embrace the ‘Phone Lock Box’ Mindset
My initial plan was to go completely off-grid, utilizing the hotel’s “phone lock boxes” – small, enclosed spaces designed to discourage phone use. It felt wonderfully symbolic, a tangible way to create distance from the digital demands of my life. And it worked—sort of. I stopped reaching for my phone every quiet moment and let myself just be. At first, it felt uncomfortable—like I was missing something. Eventually, though, the noise in my head softened. I had a few check-ins with my family to make sure everything was running smoothly on the East Coast. I had a few meetings and work calls, but immediately after, I would turn my phone on airplane mode or lock it away. Which, as a NYC fashion mom who is self-employed, is abnormal. It’s a fascinating paradox: we’re so accustomed to being always connected that disconnecting can feel profoundly unsettling. The research shows that even brief periods of digital detox can significantly reduce stress levels and improve sleep quality. A study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that limiting social media use to 30 minutes per day resulted in decreased feelings of anxiety and depression. It’s not about eliminating technology entirely; it’s about reclaiming control over how it impacts us. I realized that my phone wasn’t a tool for connection, but rather a source of distraction and, frankly, a low-grade anxiety generator. The irony of wanting to connect with myself while simultaneously tethered to my devices was surprisingly stark.
2. Rediscover the Power of Solo Dates
I’m a Leo, and Leos love to receive gifts and attention – it’s practically in our DNA. But I realized that even that desire for validation could be a barrier to self-care. So, I started scheduling “solo dates” – small, deliberate acts of self-indulgence. These weren’t grand adventures; they were simple pleasures designed to spark joy and remind me of my own worth. One afternoon, I dressed up in a silk robe and a pair of sparkly heels, ordered a ridiculously decadent dessert, and simply sat by the pool, watching the clouds drift by. It sounds frivolous, perhaps, but it was profoundly restorative. The key is to choose activities that genuinely resonate with you, activities that have nothing to do with pleasing anyone else. It’s about giving yourself permission to enjoy your own company. A recent report by the National Geographic Society highlighted that spending time in nature, even just for a few minutes a day, can dramatically improve mood and reduce stress. These solo dates were my small dose of nature, my own personal reset button. I also booked a manicure and a facial, and treated myself to a new lipstick—small indulgences that made a surprisingly big difference. It’s about recognizing that self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
3. Embrace the Benefits of In-Room Wellness
I was determined to fully immerse myself in the tranquility of the resort, and I took full advantage of the wellness offerings. I booked in-room reiki and a sound bath through the resort’s Citizens Curator program. I started with Goodnight Reiki on the first night. It was a 50-minute soothing meditation and Reiki session designed to ease overstimulation, reduce emotional overload, and prepare your body for true rest. I fell asleep during the session and stayed asleep through the night. I cannot tell you the last time I have had rest like that, or even slept through an entire night. The experience was transformative. Reiki, a Japanese healing technique, utilizes gentle touch to promote relaxation and balance the body’s energy flow. Sound baths, which involve playing instruments like singing bowls and gongs, create a resonant environment that can help to quiet the mind and release tension. Research suggests that sound therapy can lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety, and improve sleep. The sound bath I attended on the last day of the trip felt like layers I didn’t know I was carrying started to loosen, and I got clarity on so many lingering questions. It’s a powerful reminder that we don’t always have to solve our problems ourselves; sometimes, we just need a little support and a little sound.
4. Prioritize Present-Moment Eating
I realized how often I treat meals as an afterthought – a quick bite between errands, a distraction during a hectic day. I’d often skip meals entirely, or grab whatever was most convenient, rarely taking the time to savor the flavors or appreciate the nourishment. During my retreat, I made a conscious effort to be present with my food. The open kitchen concept at Hearth ’61 was a great way to remind myself of the intention behind preparing meals and the care that goes into it, and made it even more satisfying to eat. I started paying attention to the ingredients, the aromas, the textures, and the overall experience of eating. It’s a surprising revelation: when you’re truly present, food becomes more than just fuel; it becomes a source of pleasure and connection. A study published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics found that mindful eating – paying attention to your hunger and fullness cues – can lead to reduced calorie intake and improved weight management. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of not paying attention to what I am eating when I am busy. I either skip meals or eat what is in front of me, which is not always the healthiest. As someone who loves food and appreciates a fine-dining experience, I have not had time to treat myself to nice meals lately. There’s something different about eating when you’re actually present. No rushing, no multitasking; just nourishing my body with intention. I focused on eating slowly, chewing thoroughly, and appreciating each bite.
5. Rediscover Your Exercise Routine (or Create One!)
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My schedule is typically a whirlwind of school pick-ups, extracurricular activities, and household chores. Finding time for regular exercise often falls to the bottom of the priority list. During my retreat, I realized that neglecting my physical health was taking a toll on my mental and emotional well-being. I started incorporating small bursts of movement into my day—a brisk walk around the resort grounds, a yoga session in my room, even just dancing to my favorite music. It’s not about achieving a specific fitness goal; it’s about reconnecting with my body and honoring its needs. Research consistently demonstrates the powerful link between physical activity and mental health. A meta-analysis of 33 studies published in JAMA Psychiatry found that regular exercise can significantly reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. I realized that even 15-20 minutes of movement each day can make a profound difference. I also made a point of stretching and doing some simple core exercises to counteract the effects of sitting for long periods. It’s about finding movement that feels good and sustainable—not a chore, but a joyful way to nourish your body and mind.
6. Embrace the Solitude – It’s Not Empty, It’s Full
Initially, the prospect of spending an entire weekend alone filled me with a surprising amount of anxiety. I’m used to being surrounded by people, by the constant demands of family life. But as I began to settle into the quietude of my retreat, I realized that solitude wasn’t empty; it was full. It was a space for reflection, for introspection, for reconnecting with my own thoughts and feelings. I started journaling, writing down my thoughts, my fears, and my dreams. It was a powerful way to process my emotions and gain clarity. The concept of “solitude” has been explored extensively in psychology. Viktor Frankl, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, argued that solitude can be a source of profound strength and resilience. He observed that those who were able to find meaning in their solitude were better equipped to cope with adversity. It’s about creating space for yourself, for your own voice, for your own experiences. This retreat wasn’t about escaping my life; it was about stepping back to gain perspective and rediscover my own center.
7. Small Shifts, Big Impact: Intentionality is Key
Ultimately, my solo retreat wasn’t about grand gestures or dramatic revelations. It was about making small, intentional shifts in my mindset and my habits. It was about recognizing that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. It was about prioritizing my own well-being, not as an afterthought, but as a fundamental part of my life. I noticed more of my thoughts and feelings—I felt lighter, more open, clearer, and more powerful—like something shifted internally, even if I can’t fully explain it yet. The biggest takeaway was the importance of presence—of truly being present in each moment, rather than rushing from one task to the next. As the saying goes, “The present moment is the only moment we ever have.” I realized that I often operate on autopilot, going through the motions without fully engaging with my life. By slowing down, by being more intentional, I was able to reclaim a sense of agency and rediscover my own joy. And, I felt like myself again. It’s a simple truth, but often one we forget amidst the chaos of daily life.
As a final note, while I initially envisioned a complete digital detox, I found that a moderate approach – limiting my phone usage and being mindful of my screen time – was more sustainable in the long run. It’s about finding a balance that works for you, one that allows you to connect with yourself and with the world around you, without sacrificing your connection to the people you love. The key is to be intentional about how you spend your time and energy, to prioritize what truly matters to you, and to create a life that is both fulfilling and sustainable.
